Daily Balance tip by Kim Jacobs

Prior to opening the mail or email, women already juggle a lot.  Some of you have families, extra -curricular activities, dinner, washing clothes, church, your husband’s needs and sometimes even school work.  The last thing you need is to open mail or read an email that is JUNK!

What we call junk mail or spam is usually an attempt to do a direct marketing campaign intended to get you to buy a product or service. Whenever you purchase a product or service and give the company your name and address, chances are you are being immediately added to some type of mailing list. Your contact information is put into a computer database. This information is typically rented to other businesses that are interested in enticing you with offers for their products. The following tips will help you cut down on the amount of junk mail and spam emails that you receive on a daily basis:

#1. BE VERY CLEAR.  Whenever you donate money to a charity, fill out a warranty card, or purchase anything via internet or mail you should write very legibly, “Please do not sell or rent my name or address“. Most organizations will put a special note in the records to not sell your information.

#2. Some Contest should be avoided.  Contest entries are typically an easy way to capture information about a person.  Have you ever noticed that shortly after you complete a contest entry, you start to receive so much mail from every other vender in the same industry.  One perfect example:  I submitted my information to get a quote for insurance and within 15 minutes, I received over 30 calls from insurance companies saying that I was pre-qualified. It was a nightmare.  I was so sorry that I put my information on the internet for all of the vulchers to retrieve.

#3. Check with your internet provider. See if they have a spam filtering system that detects spam emails and redirects them to a specific folder created just for spam mail.

#4. Never Reply to a Spam Email.  I do not recommend that you reply to the so called sender or to the chance to remove yourself from their distribution list.  When you reply, you are simply validated that your email address is legitimate.  This gives the spammer an opportunity to resell your accurate information. If you want to report something that looks suspicious you can send it to www.spamcop.net or if you suspect fraud send it to the National Fraud Information Center at www.fraud.org. You can also send an email alerting the company by sending an email to abuse@xyzcompany.

#5. Be leery of “Dear Customer” Emails. Even though we know that we will never win a contest we never entered or receive millions of dollars for helping a businessman in another country, people still fall prey to these pranks.  Always remember, that a real bank will address you by name, not Dear Customer or Dear Friend.

#6. OPT OUT of Credit offers: The major credit agencies all sell credit information to bidders. To stop receiving credit offers for 2 years simply call 1-888-5OPT OUT or 1888-567-8688.  This will Opt you out of all credit card offers for the next 2 years. All three credit reporting agencies – Equifax, TransUnion, and Experian will remove your information. You should be ready to provide your current address, former address if you moved within the past 2 years, and your social security number.  They are available 24 hours a day.  .  If you want to opt out permanently, there are a few additional steps.

#7. Be Free of Junk Mail.  If you wish to stop receiving junk mail you can send a form, which can be printed from the following site: www.privacyrights.org/Letters/jm1a.htm.

plus pay a $1 check or money order to: Mail Preference Service – Direct Marketing Association – P.O.Box 643 – Carmel, NY 10512 or you can register online for free by visiting: https://www.dmachoice.org/dma/member/regist.action

#8. Hire a Professional.  If your time is limited, and you know you will not put the necessary energy into getting removed from the junk mail list, then hire a professional junk removal service.  There are many organizations to choose from online. One environmentally friendly online group is called 41 pounds.org.  According to their website, they will help you reduce junk mail and at the same time help preserve the environment. According to 41pounds.org, they will do all the legwork to reduce your junk mail by 80-95% for five years — and donates $15 to Eco-Cycle!

#9. A little junk mail won’t hurt.  If it is not your goal to stop receiving ALL junk mail, then you don’t want to call DMA (Direct Marketing Association).   You will want to contact the individual companies directly to inform them that you do not wish to receive anything else from them and request to be removed from their mailing list.

 Some additional resources if you want to be removed from the following sources:

• Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes:  Call 1-800-645-9242 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting  between 8:30 AM -8:30 EST
• American Family Sweepstakes: Call 1-800-237-2400 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              

Look for coupons. Coupons can save you a ton of money, especially when it is double coupon day at your local grocery stores. The goal is not to buy stuff that you really don’t need just because you have a coupon for it. Also, make sure you comparison shop to get the best buy for your money.

Shop creatively.  Visit your local consignment shops and see if you can get a good deal.  This can save you quite a bit of money, especially if you have multiple children that will be growing out of their clothes quickly anyway. Jeans are Jeans, they don’t have to cost 59.00 for them to look nice.

Comparison shop for Gas.  If you visit www.gasbuddy.com, it will show you which gas stations in Charlotte have the lowest prices.  It will also provide you with a list of the gas stations that have the highest prices over the past 36 hours.  Good resource.

Enjoy Free activities.  Look at your local newspaper’s entertainment section to see what free events are in town.  Believe it or not, there are so many free events that you can enjoy. You can also visit the local library and check out free book and enjoy the computer for free in their computer lab.  You can go for a walk in your local park on one of the walking trails.  This will be fun for couples or for families.

Barter. When times are tight, a lot of service-oriented businesses have to look at more creative ways to get their needs met. If you have a business and would like to work with another business to have mutually beneficial relationship, then discuss the option of bartering services.  This means that you will offer your service in exchange for them offering your business their service for no exchange of money.  For example, I will offer a photographer the opportunity to display their company name on the credits on my Talk Show in exchange for them doing the photography work during the  taping of my show.

Enjoy movie night at home.  Going to the movies can be extremely expensive! Don’t even think about adding on the 3-D cost or IMAX experience.  That will cost you additional money per person.  Unreal! Don’t forget the snacks and drinks for everyone.  This could add up to a mortgage payment if you go a couple of times a month.  Instead of spending money on going to the movies, why not rent a movie from the redbox for .99 or order a movie from your On Demand for one fee or rent from your local movie rental store.  This will save you quite a bit of money if you are trying to cut back financially.  You can pop some popcorn and still have a great movie night.

Create a fun amount.  Once you have allocated what you need to spend on bills and other necessary expenses, you have to determine how much you will be allowed to spend on fun things.  Whatever the amount is that you decide on, pull that cash out at the beginning of the week.  You won’t overspend, because when it is gone, it is gone!

1.  Make them feel welcome and at home:  One thing that you can say to your house guest when they arrive is “Make yourself comfortable at home.” Let your guests know they’re welcome to anything in the refrigerator or cabinets. Also, make sure that the room that they will be staying in is clutter free and has clean sheets on the bed.  If you can, provide a bedside lamp and alarm clock for your guest.

2.  Stock up on food and Keep Meals Simple.  Find out what your guest enjoy eating and stock up on some of those items.  Make sure you find out what your guest is allergic to prior to their arrival. Also, keep in mind that you are already providing a place to stay for your house guests, so don’t feel like you have to provide elaborate meals too. Meals should be inexpensive and healthy.  You can also have some times designated that you will order in or eat out. Everything should be set up in a manner that people can help themselves

3.  Have Family Friendly Movies available.  Keep a variety of family friendly movies that everyone can enjoy.

4.  Do something fun: Treat your house guest special by planning some fun activities, such as: Going to a holiday parade, going to see the holiday lights in town, going for a family walk, going to the movies or bowling, having family game night.  If you aren’t sure what your guest might want to do, just ask them in advance so you can prepare some activities they enjoy.

5.  Give your guest a chance to rest. Sometimes guests simply want to relax, and it’s hard to do that with a host who’s trying to plan something every second of the day. The best thing to do is find out in advance what they want to do and how much they want to do.  Remember, the goal is to make them comfortable.

6.  Stock your guest’s area with necessities. Make sure they have several towels and wash clothes.  Also provide them with an extra blanket. You should also provide toiletries and inform them of where you keep those items in case they need extra. Make sure you stock there area with enough items to get through their visit time.

7.  Teach your guest the basics.  Write down the wireless password to get online with their computer.  Show your guest how to properly work the TV remote controls. Share any other key information with them to make things user friendly during their stay.

8.  Be yourself and allow your guest to be themselves.  Remember, your guest are visiting to enjoy and spend time with you not watch you stress yourself out with extra pressure. Allow your guest to relax and be themselves too, without any concern that you are watching their every move.

#1. Don’t bring your work to bed.  Your bed is for sleeping not for doing your bills, checking emails, making phone calls or doing any other type of work.  You should try your very best to shut any work related projects down at least an hour prior to going to bed. This will allow your mind to transition to rest mode versus work mode.

#2. Choose your bedtime snacks and drinks wisely. Caffeine is known to keep you awake.  I recommend that you limit how much caffeine you drink before you go to bed.  Warm drinks before bed can help you relax more, such as decaffeinated tea, warm milk, or warm cider. Also, choose your snacks wisely. Some good snacks that will encourage relaxation are fresh fruit, low sugar fruit juices (instead of alcohol), whole grain bread, whole wheat pasta, oatmeal, brown rice and popcorn.

 #3. Limit the amount of TV you watch.  Watching television stimulates the mind. Therefore, I do not recommend that you watch TV right before you go to bed.  I know that some of your favorite shows may come on late at night, which entices you to want to watch it.  What I recommend is that you DVR that show and watch it on another day that you can watch it earlier in the day. If you are the type of person that needs some type of noise to wind down, then listen to relaxation music that have various nature sounds or sounds of the ocean or forest.

#4. Get things out of your mind and on paper.  When you are preparing for bed, you do not want to feel burdened about things that are bothering you.  Prior to going to bed, write down things that are heavy on your mind so that you are not spending time thinking about it when it is time to go to bed.  Make sure you write down your to do list for the next day, so that you have that off your mind when it is bed time.  The goal is to go to bed with the least amount of stressors on your mind.

 #5. Take a relaxing bath. A bath is a very simple way to relax your body before bed.  It’s always a treat to add some bath salts or bath oils to further help you relax.  This always relaxes your muscles and puts you in the frame of mind of rest and relaxation.  I recommend taking your bath a couple of hours before you plan to go to sleep to allow your body time to cool down properly. Most experts suggest that people rest better if their body temperature is cooler.

#6. Get and give a good massage.  Getting a good massage by your spouse prior to bed will help you get a good night’s rest.  Whatever body part is aching, allow that to be the focal area.  I recommend that you have your spouse use good massage oil and really allow him/her to focus on pleasing you. In return, I recommend that you offer your spouse a massage on the following day.  It is not as enjoyable if you have to massage each other on the same day.  It defeats the purpose of trying to totally relax.  If you are single and do not have a partner, there are great inexpensive massage mats on the market that you can purchase that will do the job.

by Kim Jacobs

The summer is a time when children can really be carefree and enjoy TV, video games, and having no set time to be anywhere.  It is fine for children to have fun during the summer, however, for your own sanity and for the sake of not getting them too off track, it is important to keep some structure in place. Here are a few ways that you can ensure that your children enjoy their summer break and still maintain your sanity in the process:

#1 Create a summer contract.  Write down the agreed upon rules for the summer and what the schedule will consist of. Have each child provide input to the schedule and rules and then have each child sign a contract stating that they will follow the rules.  When people sign a contract, they honor it better.

#2  Have a set bedtime:  I do think you can allow your children to stay up a little later, because it is the summer!  However, I don’t think it should be too late, especially if you still have to get up and go to work the next day as the parent.  Plus, children need their proper rest regardless of whether it is the summer or not.  It is not healthy for children to lie around in the bed all hours of the day.  If they get the proper rest, then they will be able to get up and wash and dress themselves and function throughout the day.

#3 Have a set amount of time for TV and ELECTRONICS:  Children will automatically want to catch up on all of the shows they have missed throughout the school year or play their video games excessively.  It is up to you as the parent to put a time limit on how much of this you will allow.  Once they have reached their time limit, encourage them to do other activities like:  Read a book, or play outside or play a board game, or draw a picture.

# 4 Encourage your children to start a summer business:  I have 5 children and I require them to pick something that they are passionate about and turn into a summer business.  For example:  My 9 year old son Ivan is drawing customized cars and trucks as his summer business.  A person can purchase any car of truck of their choice and he will draw it and if they want it framed – he will frame it! ($10.00 unframed, $13 framed).  People can place an order by emailing me at kim@dailybalancewithkim.tv.  I have my younger children doing a lemonade stand, and my oldest son is writing his first book.

# 5 Allow your children to take a summer tour with mommy and daddy: During the summer months, we take our children with us to some of the fun places that we have to go for our jobs.  This gives them a chance to explore different parts of the country and it gives us an opportunity to not be apart from one another.  My children love visiting all of the fun places with mommy and daddy.  If you don’t travel away during the summer take them to some of your local engagements with your job.  This also gives them a chance to see what mommy and daddy does.

#6 Find a summer camp that will interest them. There are all types of camps that are offered during the summer.  Find the one that will allow your children to flourish.  There are sports camps, cooking camps, arts & crafts camps, reading camps, and so many more. 

#7 Adopt your child’s hobby:  Each child is different.  They all enjoy a variety of things.  Whatever your child is interested in exploring for the summer; why not show a sincere interest in learning it yourself.  If they want to learn how to swim then take a swim class with them.  If your child wants to do a science experiment, why not do it together.  If they want to take a dance class, take the class with them or be present at the practice and then practice the dance moves at home.  Join a book club together.

#8 Have your teenager do volunteer work or get a job.  It is really a good idea to keep your teenager’s mind occupied during the summer so that they don’t have a bunch of idol time on their hands.  You can have your teenager volunteer at a local hospital, nursing home, salvation army, animal shelter, or any other volunteer opportunity.  If they are old enough to work a real job, then they should be working somewhere.  You can help them by identifying some good places for them to put in an application.  Also, remind them to dress professionally when they approach an employer.

Whenever you take road trips, make sure each person has their own back pack that rolls and have it filled with activities that they enjoy most.  This is very important if you wish to keep your sanity. By applying some of these simple tips, your summer with your children should be balanced and fun.

You can watch our Telly Award Winning Television Talk Show, Daily Balance with Kim Jacobs, on PBS – WTVI every Saturday at 10:00 AM.  To learn more about Daily Balance with Kim Jacobs please visit www.dailybalancewithkim.tv. You can also follow us on Facebook at Daily Balance with Kim Jacobs. If you would like to hear more tips from me, you can see me as the Daily Balance Expert every Wednesday for a segment on Charlotte Today (WCNC – News Channel 36) between 11:00 AM -12:00 PM. Thank you for your continued support.

Mothers are unsung heroes that should be celebrated every day.  They have sacrificed so much for us over the course of their lives.  My Mom and Mother-In-Law are my best friends. My mom has been my biggest cheerleader since I was a child.  She has always encouraged me to be my best and taught me that I can be anything I desire to be.   Abraham Lincoln once said “All that I am and all that I hope to be I owe to my mother.”  I love my mom for always pouring out of herself into me.   

My mom and I don’t live in the same state so it takes extra effort for us to ensure that we see each other frequently. Today, I will share some of the ways that I have included my mom into our family to continue to show her that she is a priority to me:

#1  Call Mom Often.  No matter how busy you are, you should still take out a few minutes and call your mom.  It doesn’t have to be for any specific reason. You are just calling to chit chat for a moment.

#2 Take Mom on dates.   Take her to dinner and a movie of her choice.  My mom rarely goes to the movies and when she does, it is when I take her.  Once we go, she is always so excited and truly enjoys the outing.  I also take my mom shopping for an outfit and take her to get pampered at a spa.  She loves it and she is always so appreciative.

# 3 Take Mom on the family vacation.  When we go to Florida for a family vacation, we will rent a house with an extra room for Grandmom. This gives me and my mom a chance to spend quality time together, but it also allows her to spend time with her grandchildren.  It is a win/win situation. Another option is to go on a family on vacation in her town.  If it is a vacation for your family, you can still stay in a hotel and see mom every day.  For example, my mom lives in Newport News, Va.  So what we recently did was go on vacation for spring break to Williamsburg, VA to the Great Wolfe Lodge.  My mom came up to the Lodge every day and we still felt like we were on a getaway trip with our family.

#4 Invite Mom to attend special children events.  My mom will visit on a weekend that she knows that all of my children have a game that she can attend.  The children really excel in the game when they see grandmom in the stands.  Also invite her to any special banquets and award ceremonies.

#5   Have Grown up Discussions with Mom.  If your mom is asking your opinion about something, it is important to answer honestly.  You already know each other so it should be easy to have some real girl talk.  Your Mom is seeking your advice, because she knows that you have her best interest at heart.

#6  Still seek advice from Mom.  As adults, we are totally capable of dealing with issues on our own.  However, moms that believe that they are your friend really want to share their thoughts on issues you face.  Moms appreciate their adult children valuing their opinion enough to care what they think.  I share things with my mom and she always helps me make a more rational decision than I had planned.  I don’t think that adult children should have to ask their mom for advice about EVERYTHING before they make any decision on their own.  When that is the case, the adult child lacks their own confidence to make decisions.

#7 Use technology that Mom is comfortable using.  My mom is not involved with facebook or twitter at all.  She does enjoy communicating via email periodically. Even with the email, I still have to call her and let her know that I sent pictures to her via email.  This is a good way to share pictures I have captured of silly family moments (My daughter covering her body from head to toe in Vaseline).

I really hope that these tips will allow your Mom to feel the same way mine does and that is  a valued and irreplaceable part of your family.  You can watch my television talk show, Daily Balance with Kim Jacobs, on PBS – WTVI every Saturday at 10:00 AM (NEW TIME).    If you would like to hear more tips from me, you can see me as the Daily Balance Expert every Wednesday for a segment on Charlotte Today (WCNC – News Channel 36) between 11:00 AM -12:00 PM or you can send me an email at kim@dailybalancewithkim.tv.  To learn more about what is going on with Daily Balance with Kim Jacobs visit www.dailybalancewithkim.tv. Thank you for your continued support.

#1 If you have siblings – Consider a monthly rotation system.  Set the room up to look similar in each home to ensure that your parent feels at home in each house.  Sharing the responsibility will lessen the load on one family. (My grandmother has 3 children – 1 son and 2 daughters.  The daughters alternate monthly –they both live in Charlotte and the son, who lives in Palatka, Fl., has my grandmother stay with him during a month in the summer and a month in the winter).

#2 Assess your parent’s situation and what they will need help with.  Do they need help bathing and dressing?  Do they need you to transport them to the store?  Do they need you to help with their financial situation and pay their bills?  You don’t want to overstep your bounds as a caregiver.  You want them to be OK with what you are doing for them. (For example:  My grandmother refuses to let anyone treat her like she can’t do for herself.  She makes it very clear that she is an INDEPENDENT WOMAN.  She can recite poems without even looking at the paper – Her mind is sharper than any younger person I know.)

#3 Obtain Power of Attorney Rights if you will have to make decisions regarding their bills and health care decisions.  

#4 Make sure your parent has something fun to do during the day.  (My grandmother loves going to the senior center program.    They offer lunch and companionship for half a day and provide transportation home.  My aunts check on her once the transportation service brings her home.)

#5 Schedule multiple appointments on the same day. This is very important if you also work during the day and have limited time to take off. (My aunt takes my grandmother to the eye doctor and medical physician on the same day.  She will also take her to get her nails done since they are already out.)

#6 You should have all of their pertinent information on file.  Their insurance cards, their deeds, vital records, and final wishes they may have (special burial plots, organ donation, wills)

#7 Whatever they have a passion to do make that available to them.  (My grandmother loves to crochet and cook.  As a family, we always make sure grandma has yarn and crochet needles.  She makes things for her great grandchildren out of the yarn.  She also enjoys cooking for the family.  My aunts make sure that they make the kitchen safe and user friendly for my grandma to cook meals in the house.)

#8 If you sense that something is slightly wrong physically or mentally with your parent notify your other siblings right away to make them aware of your concern.  If you don’t have siblings, contact the doctor just to be safe.

#9 Make sure that you show proper respect to your parent!  Honor their wishes as much as possible.  Find out from them what they desire to have happen.

#10 Remember to still take good care of yourself.  If you are exhausted and burned out, then you won’t be any good for your parent who really needs you right now.

#11 Make sure they have their gifts for occasions.  (My grandmother will not let  birthdays or holidays go by without getting a gift for someone.  It is very important to her to celebrate others.  My aunts make sure they take her shopping so that she can pick out what she likes for the person.) 

#12 If you are unable to care for your parent personally, interview and carefully select the best in home care agency that will give quality care as if you were there.

As you care for your aging parent, it is important to remember to be compassionate toward them.  Make decisions that you know they would have made if they were able to on their own.  Basically, treat them the way you would want to be treated if you were in the same situation.

You can watch my television talk show, Daily Balance with Kim Jacobs, on PBS – WTVI every Saturday at 10:00 AM (NEW TIME).    If you would like to hear more tips from me, you can see me as the Daily Balance Expert every Wednesday for a segment on Charlotte Today (WCNC – News Channel 36) between 11:00 AM -12:00 PM or you can send me an email at kim@dailybalancewithkim.tv.  To learn more about what is going on with Daily Balance with Kim Jacobs visit www.dailybalncewithkim.tv. Thank you for your continued support.